The Land of Self-Destruction: What It Means When You’re Stuck (And Why It’s A Good Sign)

So maybe you’ve been in business a while. Maybe things are sailing along beautifully, you were making big things happen, all is cheery and bright….and then one day it all comes crashing down.


You’re frustrated. Getting out of bed is a struggle. And you just don’t know if things are ever gonna be good again.


That’s a prime sign that you’re stuck in the land of self-destruction.


It’s a place of ego. It’s based on fear. And at some point, it happens to everyone. But the good news is that while you might be there now, but you don’t have to STAY there.


I’m going to share a few things that have helped me as well as my clients to recognize that place, see why it was happening, and most importantly, remember that it isn’t trying to stop you. It’s actually here to help you.


So let’s talk about that land of self-destruction for a moment. You feel lost. Stuck. Tired. And sometimes it hits you like that proverbial ton of bricks.


But what you might not know yet is that these moments not only happen to everyone at some point, but also they can be a good sign, if you choose to see them this way.


You see, this is not just about self-destruction. It’s actually a part of the growth cycle. And it’s an indication that you’re ready to expand like you never have before.


Like any living thing, you’re always growing and evolving. And of course, that means having a lot of ups and downs. So when you look at it that way, what if that self-destruction phase was simply another point on the cycle?


Let’s look a little closer at the cycle first so we can get some perspective.


First, you’ve got the high tier. This is where things are happening left and right in your business. Lots of opportunities are coming, clients come out of the woodwork, the energy is light, fun, and exciting. You’re feeling amazing all the time, and everything is just great!

Then there’s that middle tier where you’re feeling a little bit frustrated, maybe a little bit anxious, but you’re still going through the motions.


And of course, the rock-bottom becomes the land of self-destruction. That we’ve already established here, right?


But what you might be missing here is that these three levels cycle through all the time. Nothing ever stays the same.


When you’re at the bottom of the cycle, it actually means you’re at a breaking point. It’s like the breakdown that comes just before the breakthrough.

This is also the moment where you might feel like it just might be time to quit.  


Then you start to question yourself. Wonder if you’re good enough. Maybe even wonder why you even started.


This is your survival mechanism. It wants to keep you small. It wants to keep you safe and secure rather than break out and see what’s on the other side.


If you’re at that low point right now, I want you to know that this is a good thing.


This means that you’re at the breaking point. You’re ready for a breakthrough. Allow yourself to feel that, to let those emotions work themselves out, and know that something amazing is coming.


Or in other words, feel the fear and keep going anyway!


Now, I totally get that sometimes, that’s not that easy.


But I also have a few tips and tricks that help get me back on track and into the groove again. Let me share those with you right here!


  • First of all, do what you have to do to get out of your head space. You’ve got to give yourself room. Honor yourself and give yourself a moment to breathe and reconnect to YOU.


  • Break the cycle of stifling thoughts by changing your activity. Go out for a walk, go do something you love, get out and move. Anything to get the good energy flowing again.


  • Reach out and help someone else. Believe it or not, you can actually shift your perspective by taking the focus off of yourself and putting it onto another. So reach out and see how you can help someone else! You just might be the blessing that someone else is praying for. And not only that–you’ll be amazed how quickly you can get out of your ego space and into the high-vibe energy of service when you do this. It’s a win-win!

I’m sharing this with you just to remind you that if you’re down, you’re not alone. Don’t think that it means you have to stop. Truly, don’t stop just short of the breakthrough!


So once again, how do you do keep going when it all looks so bleak?


First of all, take it easy on yourself. Shift through your feelings, pick them apart, and ask yourself what they’re really all about. Don’t judge yourself, but just allow the truth to come out.


Second, shift your energy from self-destruction to service of others. See what you can do to help someone else. And you just might find yourself feeling a lot better, too.


Don’t stop short of the breakthrough. There’s so much to lose when you give up–and so much to gain when you don’t!


Are you feeling like you’ve had enough and don’t know what to do next? Leave me a comment and let me know how I can support you. One of the most courageous things you can do is reach out for help when you need it.  Know that I’m here for you! So leave me a comment, or if you prefer, book your very own consult with me simply by clicking the button below.

Make it a great day!
Coach Daleen